Losing someone you love is one of the hardest experiences any of us will face. Grief can feel overwhelming and unpredictable, made harder by arriving at a time when life already feels fragile. Whether your loss was sudden or expected, recent or long ago, what follows after loss can bring a mixture of emotions that are tough to handle. We hope this guide will provide gentle reassurance and practical steps to help you find your footing as you adjust to life without someone who meant so much.
What is grief, bereavement and loss?
Grief is a natural emotional and physical response we feel when someone important to us passes away. Bereavement refers to the period of mourning and adjustment that follows, while loss is the absence we face each day. While these terms are related, everyone lives through them in their own way.
You might feel sadness, disbelief, or longing. You may also notice feelings of numbness and disconnection. For many who have cared for an elderly loved one, the change in routine and sudden quiet in your day to day can be especially difficult. It’s important to remember that there is no right or wrong way to grieve, and that your feelings will be as unique as the relationship you had with your loved one who passed. What is always true is that your experience and you, deserve compassion and time.
Understanding the grief of losing a loved one
Grief is rarely tidy. You may find yourself moving through different emotions quickly: sorrow, anger, guilt, confusion, or even a sense of relief after a long illness. All of these reactions are normal, and none reduce the depth of your love.
You might also notice physical changes and reactions, such as changes to your sleep, appetite, or focus. Everyday tasks may seem harder than normal, or you may find comfort in them.
For those who have spent time caring for a family member during their later years or illness, you may feel a sense of emptiness as those responsibilities come to an end. This is also a normal part of grief.
Over time, your feelings may soften and change, but they can return, whether during anniversaries and significant dates, or simply in quiet moments or when something reminds you of them. This is a natural part of healing too.
Things you can try to help with the loss of a loved one
In the early days after losing someone, small, gentle actions can provide comfort and stability. Not every suggestion will feel right to everyone, but there are options you might try when you feel ready:
Keep simple daily routines
Grief can make the familiar seem strange. Sticking to small routine may help you mindfully ground your day. Even something as small as opening the window each morning, making sure you eat, or going for a short walk can help. These habits can provide a sense of steadiness when life feels suddenly very different.
Look after your physical wellbeing
Grief is exhausting. If you can, drink water regularly and eat small meals. It’s also important to rest when your body asks for it. If you’re finding it hard to look after yourself while struggling with strong, or overwhelming emotions, speaking with your GP can be a helpful first step.
Find quiet ways to remember your loved one
When we lose someone we love, many people want to do something to remember and honour them. But it can be difficult navigating this when others are grieving the loss too. Many people find peace in gentle, personal acts of remembrance. You many find comfort in things such as creating a memory box, looking through photographs, or writing in a journal. But it’s also normal to not feel ready for those straightaway. Other ways to remember a loved one can be lighting a candle, spending time in places that were important to you both, or even having a vase of their favourite flowers at home. These moments can help you feel connected, allowing your memories and love to coexist with your grief.
When and how to ask for help with grief or bereavement
It is common to need additional support after losing a loved one. Some people reach out for support within days, while others realise they need help months or even years later. However, if you find you are unable to cope with daily tasks or feeling overwhelmed by your emotions, reaching out for help is an important thing to do.
You can find support in many places, including your GP, a counsellor, community and faith groups, or telephone and online helplines. Many people also find comfort and companionship in local bereavement groups. These help to connect you with others who understand the journey of grief. You can find more information on bereavement and grief support throughout the UK by visiting our Bereavement and Grief Support information here.
Further support after the loss of a loved one
At Patricia White’s we understand how deeply the loss of a loved one can be felt, especially when you have shared months or years of care. If you would like further guidance and support, our After the Loss of a Loved One Information Hub offers resources and articles to support you though each stage of grief.
You do not have to face this journey alone. Gentle support, understanding and time can help you find your way forward, one day at a time.
